Well as you may or may not know, this month will be the final month for the beloved porn shop at the corner of 19th and Johnson. This porn shop has been a corner stone of Luty for nearly 365 years. Anything you could ever thik of could be found there. They had everything from the nastiest Oompa Loompa porn to that sweet cudely crap. That sweet romance stuff never sold well but non the less it was there.

"I can't belive it's being shut down, where will I get all my Oompa Loompa porn from," said a distressed Enicio Sordero.

What really ticks me off is that the porn shop is being shut down by Pockets McFaden. By the way he is the one who was caught having an affair with a dog. What kind of person can be apossed to porn, if he's fooling around with animals. If you asked me, I think we should kick McFaden out of the town and have the owner of the porn shop, Niego Monterovsky, run this town.

"I vowe that I will open up a new porn shop on the outside of town, it will be better than ever and have extra great Oompa Loompa porn," said Monterovsky.

I would like to end this article with a song that I heard on one of those goofy music video chanels. It goes "I drive myself crasy, I drive myself crasy, thinking of you," this song was sung by some fagy looking guys, but it realy sums up the way I feel about the travisty that is going to happen.

On this past thursaday at 33 o'clock and 32 seconds, the art gallery was blown up. Snaggle Rock, the curator, luckily was not there but all the paintings are gone, so there is no more art gallery. So, if you haven't already been there, don't go, well because it's not there. If you have already gone you know this, so just keep looking around Luty.